Enroute to Manali - I

"Saaley ye to saarey uncle aunty types hai", the shock in my voice mirrored avnish's intense frown at the bus full of uncle,aunty & buntys. We had boarded the bus to manali with a crowd full of people on the way to their summer treats, looking at this lovely collection of delhi reminded me of the movie "300". I could picture these people screaming, luggage in one hand, bunty on the other shoulder, "We are DDDEEELLLHHHIIII, and we are going to MMMAAANNNNAAALLLIIII".

I stared at people settling down, shady fellows going nudge nudge wink wink with the conductor and typical foreigner types wondering why catching a bus seems like an enactment of an indian version of the movie "Ten Commandments", hoards of people everywhere following Moses(the conductor), this was going to be an intense trip for sure. The smell of grilled sandwiches brought me back, Punter wanted to attack the grilled sandwiches & the paranthas Verma had got from home, all four of us had some of it, gulping it down with sips of coke and sprite.

We were now refuelled, as the bus started the shady fellows had taken their seats right next to the exit door, Initially the seats had been occupied by an european couple(I can only guess) however some fellows had complained to the conductor "inko sabse peeche bitha, saamne baithke gand falayenge". I cringed at the racist comment, some stupid moron I figured. The conductor told the two that their seats are at the back and then the shady fellows replaced them happily at the front seat.

Driver, Conductor, Shady Fellows, Firangis, Young Guns(US :D), Uncle, Aunty and most importantly Bunty, finally the bus growled to life. Amongst A.C complains, Shady fellows purchasing tickets worth 900 by paying only 500, Cracking jokes, Punter's belly full laughter and discussions that hot chicks travel in groups only on buses(in our dreams!) with ticket worth 500 bucks as they are cheaper, we reached the borders of the city.

Almost on cue we heard "bhai zara side mein rok lena, bachche ko toilet jaana hai", these seemingly insignificant words started the great 2009 migration of "people who need to go", the infinite number of buntys in the bus had consumed half of india's water supply, thus the great water crisis of 2009 and Avnish's "bhai itna laatey kahan se hai, ye to andha piss kar rahe hain". Once the buntys were happy watering the road side, the bus driver(surprisingly disgusted) told the bunty owners to hold it in till the end of eternity else he'll run them over while they are pissing.

As daylight gave into the darkness of the night, shady fellows uncorked their bottle of whisky, bribing the conductor and driver with packets of cool water they had bought there license to booze. The bihari couple next to us was excitedly staring at the t.v. playing "Aloo Chaat"(Aa mera dimaag chat !). The slapstick brainless comedy gave four of us enough ammunition to crack the most lethal jokes and laugh like maniacs. Our little Cannes festival was interrupted by the stop for dinner at a road side dhaba. It must have been around 11:00, the air was cool, the dhaba decent, loading up on Punter & Avnish's home cooked puri sabzi while sipping on tea, the whole situation made us all easy in our skins, felt like a welcome break from the daily late nights at office. We were off again in 15 minutes, hour down the line bihari couple has a tiff about "seat aagey peeche and aap batameezi(by moving the seat at all) kar rahe hain" with drunk shady fellow, shady fellows make a valid point offers them their own seats, bihari husband just wants to show that he could have been tom cruise if not for his accent.

Tiffs over, Aloo Chat over, The bus starts swivelling through the mountain roads, I decide to talk to her once before I die in a mountain accident. Verma and Avnish are asleep, Punter and Me stare at the windows checking out the dark silhouettes of mountains passing by, the curves, dives and climbs and the mysterious darkness puts us to sleep only to wake up at around 1:00 a.m....

To be continued...