Musicovery Series - #2 Massive Attack

And finally I get a chance to get back to this....

Musicovery #2 - February 2010 - Massive Attack

Rock, Pop, Hip-Hop & Trance,they are the four genres of music which have always stolen the lime light where modern day evolution of music is concerned. There is a fifth genre which is looked at only from the perspective of movie, television or gaming music. The long neglected "techno" or "electronica", very few names come to mind fatboyslim, prodigy and chemical brother. The "techno" fan inside of me has made me search quite a few dark corridors of stores,blogs, you tube and imdb to find out techno tracks at times heard in movies, games or trailers. One such search for the theme music from the t.v. show "House M.D" lead me to my second grand find for this year.

"Massive Attack" mounted a massive attack on my senses, they are not a pure band nor are they a pure techno track making studio. I can only describe them as group of talent musicians or djs who have come together to create some intense music. They work with various individual artists to produce stuff that sounds real good. My experiment with them started from the Album "Mezzanine", first being "Angel". "Angel" has a dark undertone to it and the angel word has definitely been used to signify a dark angel or the angel of death probably. The drumming on it is a real piece of work, with the top hat used very effectively, whereas the bass lends a sinister twist to the whole track. Honestly the kind of music you would want to listen to driving to anywhere at midnight or maybe to pump yourself up before a hard day. Next comes "Tear drop", for those who don't know this is the same track that gives you goosebumps when watching House M.D. Where 'Angel' is dark, 'Tear drop' is all about bright, right from the lyrics to the sitar like sound the music inspires and it literally gave me goosebumps. Inertia Creeps, Black Milk & Dissolved girl are the other three track that have become part of my favorite list. Black milk has a very jazz fusion, forlorn, lonely soul or candle light sex sound to it. After listening to this I could make out that Massive Attack is definitely not 100% pure techno and neither they are the kind of music which would have mass appeal however they are a must listen for people who are on the look out for that different sound.

The next two Massive Attack albums I dug into were 100th Window and Heligoland.
Compared to the first album which bordered on techno, these two albums sounded completely different. The nature of their music changed itself with each track, 100th Window featured two track that caught my fancy 'Butterfly Caught' & 'Special Cases'. 'Butterfly Caught' sounds straight out of an Enigma album only with a slight trance touch to it, Robert del naja sounds like the devil himself on this track and almost convinces you to dim your lights just to enhance the whole experience. 'Special Cases' is a track which retains some bit of the sound from Mezzanine, the track might be attributed as outright scary or creepy by some and I wouldn't disagree however it will go well with a glass of wine.

My hunt for other Massive Attack tracks ended with Paradise Circus from their album Heligoland and a single called 'Live with me'. Paradise Circus is a very soothing track and suited for some relaxed listening. As for 'Live with me', the best song to get drunk to. They have definitely come down the curve however Mezzanine and 100th Window are definitely albums worth exploring. I personally recommend the music video for Angel, you'll hate huge lonely parking lots from then on !

Musicovery Series - #1 Brother Cane

How many times have you heard a new beat, a new sound and found your spirits soaring, I have, around a million times. Music can have a deep impact on us and that's why I enjoy discovering new music or even re-discovering some at times. So here goes my musicovery series.

Musicovery #1 - January 2010 - Brother Cane

The new year started on a very positive note for me with my friend Metalhead introducing me to Brother Cane. Brother is an american hard rock band from 1990s, that is how wikipedia starts with their description. If you wan't the name of band members then please stop reading right now and look up wikipedia since that is the place for information seekers. Here's what I've got about them, they came out with their first album Brother Cane in 1993. The album has some amazingly fresh sound, the crescendos, the riffs and the transitions are definitely bad ass for 1993 standards and 2010 standards. The album has some very intense music, I personally liked "How long", "Woman", "Stone's Throw Away" & "Make your play". "How long" has an amazing riff dead center and the tempo of the song changes dramatically, similarly in "Woman" the tempo changes the whole mood, at times you can find a hit of metallica in their crescendo.

Seeds is the next album that they came out with, this album is rare to find. Metalhead and me spent quite some time hunting this down on the net however we could only find one song "Fools shine down". The song is actually the soundtrack from the 1995 moviel halloween and was a chart topper at that time, like #1. "Fools shine down" is a dark song and goes well with a dark night spent driving on the highway with your friends or a night spent camping around a born fire. I've been trying to trace the other songs from Seeds however I think Metalhead downloaded it and killed all the links.

Come 1998 all good things came to an end however not before these guys produced Wishpool, this wishpool had everything I had wished for. The album has twelve songs out of which six have caught my attention and kept it that way. The album opens with "Wishpool" which gives only a faint hint of what is to come, then it moves to "Where was I to know". Once you hear "Where was I to know" there is no turning back, the song has the best use of various instruments definitely unheard of in rock songs and simply convinces you to keep listening. For the main course we have "Look for something more","The crow flies" and "Come alive again". The guitar work in all the three are so entirely different that at times you feel you are hearing different bands, however the way they have played with different sounds is amazing. "Come alive again" is also a chart topper, no idea what number but definitely it sounds like one. By the time you are over with "Come alive again", your adrenaline would be pumping and one feels like the pheonix rising from the ashes, the music kicks ass. The album closes with "Lead my follow" and "Human after all", two mellow numbers to soothe those now wired nerves.

After 1998 these guys split up but did come back to play at some concerts, I seriously wish I could have been a part of the experience rather I wish they could have been a part of my growing up experience, like the oldies today have pink floyd as theirs. If anyone catches hold of Seeds from somewhere, just ping me on my gtalk.

Watering Hole Watergate

Beer, a man's second best friend, nothing beats a chilled beer at the end of the day with friends in your favorite watering hole.

Watering Hole #1: TGIF, C.P. - It was my b'day and we were all at TGIF, C.P. for a dinner outing. I had ordered one beer and rest of the people ordered mocktails. We sipped our drinks, munched our snacks, devoured our main course and skipped the desert. Upon asking for the cheque we were presented with a bill with quite an amount, I put my card down to pay without checking the bill too much. However one of my friends decided to investigate the bill and found out that we were being overcharge thousand bucks in the name of drink we never ordered. The matter was sorted out quickly and discreetly and we were on our way.

Watering Hole#2: BLUES,C.P. - It was a reunion of sorts and we were ready to party. The orders for tandoori chicken, beer and potato wedges kept repeating like an echo. Most of us were drunk except for me as I have to drive back home, therefore generally I stick to a beer and a half. When it was time for the bill, we were presented with a bloated bill which had couple of beers extra on them. The matter was sorted out quickly and discreetly and we were on our way.

Watering Hole#3: Drunken Duck,C.P. - The three of us were meeting after a long time and obviously it was an occasion for beer. After going through seven bottles amongs three of us we had enough and asked for the bill. This time again we were being charged couple of beers extra. We told the waiter to get it changed. Now here's the part I realized that the R & B's are actually trying to rip us off. The guy got the rectified bill from the counter, all the cashier had done was take off the beer cost and let the VAT and Tax calculated on it remain in the bill. We had to send the waiter back again to get it rectified.

Now these are three separate occasions in a space of about a year and a half and these R & B's do not belong to the same chain. I can safely eliminate "co-incidence" because in all three cases the overcharging was based on drinks and not the food. Carelessness can be ruled out because the waiters have a proper process(slotted tray with table numbers) to track consumption and cashiers are cashiers they are trained to calculate the right amount. Also, if it's carelessness then how come there hasn't ever been a case of undercharging ?

The only possible conclusion drawn from this is that these places rely on the fact that the customers will be too drunk to even notice the extra beer or remember how much liquor they've consumed. One will always remember the food they've eaten but who can keep a count on the number of beers, specially if six people order around nine beers and that too not in a single go. No matter how high brow the place is you can count upon the management to come down to these tricks to fatten the pockets.

At times I feel really disgusted with the fact that a person can't even enjoy a get together or a date at these so called "respectable" places without being at the risk of getting fleeced the "honest" staff. Please people, next time you get that bill go through it once in and if you see it there then make sure you call the manager and give your two cents worth, after all the service tax means you are ensured good quality of service !

At First Sight

Don't try to just "see", try to "look". The sound of our voice, sometimes it's just a sound we hear and sometimes it's a story we tell unknowingly. It is our eyes that see however it is our mind which perceives. Do we ever realize when we've stopped looking and our eyes are just seeing.

He kept staring at the screen without a flicker of emotion, I on the other hand was disgusted at what was being shown. A helmet full of nails snapping shut with someone's head inside, the blood and gore would have put slaughter houses to shame, but he kept on looking simply because his wasn't even trying to understand what he was watching. It's amazing what happens when your brain doesn't co-ordinate with your mind, your vision is reduced to merely a hole in the wall, it's as good as not being there with no one to see through it. I couldn't blame him for being like that, when a man realizes that his eyes have only been "seeing" and not "looking" it comes as quite a shock. Rectifying it isn't easy either, when you are used to being blind, vision is like sunlight after 100 years of darkness.

"It's hard when you realize some truths about yourself, your heart doesn't want to accept the fact that your mind works the way it does", that's what he had told me once. Only a few familiar faces left in his life, I wondered what made him give up the "family and friends" he had grown up with. Is this what happens when a persons mind starts comprehending what one sees ? Is this how one reacts when he reaches an understanding of the environment around him. Is abandonment a consequence of the realization that nothing ever lasts. We sat together going through albums of his childhood, his parents, his childhood friends, I was looking at the history of a person, the foundation of a being while he just stared at pictures with people in it.

"He had been in love once, but he didn't know it. They had been together for six years but all he saw in her was everything he wanted to hate. It had been an off limit topic for me however the day he saw her pictures of getting engaged, he talked about her and all the things he loved about her. It was like his eyes had seen her a million years back and now his brain was registering all that he had felt.", his wife seemed to have a tremendous understanding of his emotions and a different kind of respect for him.

The experience of visiting a "long time no see" friend should always be one filled with joy however this was one visit which turned out to be something more. He hardly spoke to me but his wife told me that his acceptance of my "foreign" presence at his home is sign enough that he's happy to see me. When it was time for me to leave, he shook hands with a warm smile on his face and a gentle "do visit again".

As I drove back home I was filled with the dark realization that we are all blind at some level. Our perception of things around us are at times limited to the dimension of our vision and understanding. We see people, things & life as we can see them and we seem them with the best possible understanding we have developed. How do we know that the relation established between the vision before our eyes and the emotions evoked by our mind are right. We continue to live in this blindness, at times our entire life and at times we are shocked by a sudden connection that our brain makes, then we are jolted into a different reality one that has been overshadowed by the reality that runs in our minds. After 20 years of blindness this vision of reality can be an adjustment impossible to make however some survive and some just close their eyes.

Next time I heard myself say the words "Hi, it's good to see you !" the only question in my mind was "Can I really see you ?".

Urban Decay

The Stigmata, The Tourniquet, Years of Urban Decay, Where Was I to know ?
"Mars is high, this will give your relationship lot of trouble, you'll fight with your spouse a lot.", well the astrologer did get it spot on. Then again the question is, where was i to know ?

We've all at one point or another been witness to public spats, just when you are about to dig into a pizza full of cheese peacefully, you over hear "Please don't make a scene here". At times you stare at people with the most sour faces sitting at a Coffee shop pondering how much of silence will it take to make the other person kill himself with a caffeine overdose. However there are the people who walk away silently from each other, people who have spent the best times with each other and now know that things have gone turtle.

I've known two such people personally, the best of friends, people who finished off each others sentences and if necessary food as well. I saw each of them initially believe that they are blessed, then think that they are not blessed but like every other couple and then finally I saw them make an unspoken sacrifice unlike any I've seen before. As I was thinking about the day they walked away from each other, someone spoke up "God, the way they fought, such horrible stuff ! And you should've seen the way they ended things". "Would've put cats and dogs to shame", said another one, I could only smile and ponder.

I pondered at what was unfolding in front of me, two people who knew that the "good" part was behind them and what ever was left, couldn't turn into something more. The guy wearing a cloak of cold aloofness to hide his helplessness, he didn't let his eyes speak nor let his words betray his plight. The girl torn inbetween between truths about herself, on her knees not knowing which truth to accept and which to shun, she killed her passion bit by bit only to convince herself that there is no more in her. They chose not to speak, not to see, not to hear each other and let the world around call it "ego","anger","insecurity","two people with ego's bigger than there feelings".

I stood helpless while the two people were castigated because they were outcasts,now suffering because they hadn't listened, the "i told you so" and "if i were you" chanted in unison.

I asked the guy, "how do you do it ? remain so unaffected by it all."

"The moments we have spent together are like a pitcher full of water for the thirsty man dying in a desert. Ask me not, to pay heed to this world, I can give up my life, I can give her up but ask me not to give up her memories", came his reply. A day later, I was about to ask her the same question, She kept on looking blankly at her work screen only to smile for the most infinitesimal moment. Obviously she was reminiscing about a bright moment, In the very next second her face returned to that blank look as she scribbled "I CAN'T" on her notepad.

As I pictured them both laughing together somewhere in the past, I realized that I may want to know, what happened, what helps them survive, how can they be so selfish and yet selfless, however maybe I can never know, not unless one day I learn to scribble "I CAN'T".

The Nomadic Wanderlust

Kishore da once sang "Kagazon ki kashtiyon ka kahin kinara hota nahi",his choice of words to describe certain people and their fate is worth pondering a life time away. Similary the song "aye dil-e-nadaan" has the most haunting lyrics - "hum bhatakte hai, kyon bhatakte hai
dasht-o-sehra main, aisa lagta hai mauj pyasi hai, apni dariya mein".

Recently both the songs caught my thoughts in mid flight, both the songs talk about the most primitive instinct of us human beings. Wanderlust - a strong or innate desire to rove about.
What is that one things that makes us miss our childhood so much, what is that makes us feel so refreshed when we visit a new place even if for a day, why do we feel stagnated of our "settled" lives all of a sudden when we hit a random age beyond 30.

Last year on my birthday I was in pune all alone, I hadn't ever been to the city so the only choice I had was to explore it on my own. I chose to do something I had done often before, I packed a backpack with a couple of sandwiches from subway, cans of coke and headed towards the city. After a windy autoride, I was at mall road, the market had shades of old and new. Reminded me of CP in a way, there were some places that looked as old as they could be and some looked fresh out of a bursting economy, there were the chachas in the market and the mr.showroom owners. Some selling bags, some jwellery, some shoes, some snobbery.
However this was obviously the heart, the families which believed in the good old times headed to mall road on all occasions, it was something they could relate to more as compared to the urbanized glass cages called "malls".

Time was running out, I headed for deccan, the honest automan chose not to rip me off and I was thankful for the cheap ride. The deccan is the college crowd area, lots of open air cafes where young students plan everything from fresher parties to wedding dates once they complete their graduation. I roamed around like the primitive man just enjoying the "roam", at times I nibbled on the sandwich and gulped some coke. The deccan is different, it was youth city, if mall road was the heart then deccan was the spirit of youth.

I finished the day with a movie at a nearby mall, pizza from dominoes and vada-pau at a thela. I had missed visiting a couple of places from what my friends tell me, however that didn't matter much, my wanderlust was satisfied. Last year was filled with four to five trips, a number of friends showed the same patterns of wanting to wander, whether wandering between places, people or situations all of them wanted to wander.

Humans wander, there is no other truth. Our strife and struggle begins when we want that illusive "stability" just to feel a certain kind of "happy". And then when 35 happens, we have that "crisis" about when, what, where all this is going not realising that we are just like a small kid running around in a DTC bus. The kid thinks he's moving or just sitting, but the bus is taking it's own route.

Sure we've evolved, and sure we've come a long way, sure we roam a lot less only because there's less to roam about but we still secretly prefer being a explorer, a nomad, an adventurer.

The Midnight Hour

Nishachar, Nightcrawler or a Nocturnal Adventurer, how shall I describe you ?

Night, that certain period of time that symbolizes the unknown and mysterious, often co-related with darkness, occult, sub-conscious, depression, sleep, endings and of course death. As a kid I used to be scared of the dark and to a certain degree scared of night time as well. It involved giving up of your consciousness, a period of time when you let your sense sleep, undoubtedly making you the most vulnerable for those eight nine hours of slumber. The sharpest of minds and strongest of muscles rendered useless leaving only your instinct awake.

Last night as I sat with a couple of my friends on the side walks of a metropolitan lifestyle,I was back to my thoughts of childhood. I looked at the sky above to be sure it was dark, dark enough to bring back that scary feeling that night has fallen and it's time to rush home. I stared for a complete minute only to realize that it is only a shade lighter than bottle full of chelpark ink.

The month of march blew a cool breeze, while we talked about the funniest nonsensical things we ever could. We saw people walking in a hurried manner to be at places they feel they need to be when night falls, some catching autos and some heading to the hottest nightclubs or just for a quite dinner in a "family" restaurant.

Amongst the sprinkles of humanity we three sat there staring at the amazing amount of activity which was so continuous that it almost seemed stagnant, sitting there I felt more a part of the city rather than the bustling crowd that lives in it. I felt like a brick in the wall watching people pass by in the darkness of the night, the same night which now evoked thoughts so different from my childhood. I could feel that I had embraced the silence of the night, the deep purple blue of the sky, the stillness of our shadows cast by night lights, the cool wind like a small kid wanting to be friends with us since we wouldn't run away. All I wanted to do was sit under that open sky and stare into the empty nothing, the quietness of the night filled me with life unlike the lifelessness that reigns supreme during the so called "day time" filled with "bustling activity".

Around 10 years back I crossed a certain age barrier that signed off my immaturity as a personality trait and thus turned a complete blind eye to the fact that the age barrier itself might be misplaced. Having crossed the barrier of being a "grown up", the limits of my nocturnal ventures have uniformly increased over time which I believe is the case with everyone. Driving back home late in the night and strolling through the darkness has become a part of me, a part of me that this night accepts unconditionally, like a generous stranger it offers shelter from the trivial trials and tribulations of day to day life.

I drove back home last night and then walked from the parking to my house and all of a sudden I found myself staring into the sky again just to spend a few seconds more in ironically what seemed like the most lively and yet the most peaceful hours of the whole day.

We will all strive for it one day, to spend the night awake and the day sleeping, call it human nature or biological evolution, one day we'll have had enough with the consciousness of day light and then we'll choose to live in the sub-conscious of a dark night.

One day closed eyes will reveal to us more than our eyes have for the last millions years.

The Infinitesimal Eternity of A Year

After acute laziness and an amazing amount of cribbing about how unfair is life, I've decided to come back to this medium which serves best as a drawing board for my thoughts. The comeback has been triggered by a Seema Goswami article, a 15 days leave from office and Dr.Alban's insistence that "It's my life".

2009 is coming to an end and let's see how it has set the tone for the next decade, So here it is in words.

1) Two of my closest friends have gotten married this year and 3 more will pretty soon in the next year, thus making me ever so conscious about my single status, hey so which one is a better site shaadi.com or indiamatrimony.com, aaah!!! who cares ! ? I wish them the best and all my single friends I suggest we start a new facebook or orkut community called "Single and loving it".

2) It's a been year of travel, starting with Rishikesh, Mussori, Jaipur,Manali and then Chael, The random trips have helped me make a number of keen observations on travel, tourism and group dynamics. It's been an experience travelling with the kind of people I have, The GPS Dude, Reporter Chick, Joey, MetalHead, Actor Boy,Prodigy Freak and The 377 Sisters, all of them have been intense. I hope more names get added to both the lists of places and people. So where to people, beaches this time ??

3) Returning to my roots, this year I've made it a point to take time out to visit IIC more frequently, It's been my temple of Inspiration and an evergreen tree for me. Looks like it will remain to be so.

4) A karmic lesson of patience and practicality has been thrust upon me throughout the year, for someone who has always believed that efforts brings result, it's been a year of waiting for me. Patience has been my lesson and I hope to use it best in the time to come. I've realized that in any success story, patience is undermined and a lot is attributed to determination, ambition etc. However patience holds the key, A blacksmiths patience is what is required at times to bend the iron of life into what you want. So strike I shall when the time is right.

5) I started this blog this year and I hope that I write more and better with every effort !!!!!

Morality - The Wall behind which we hide

"But she's committed to someone else and here she is..."

Last week has thrown some very interesting incidents at me and I've been forced to question the very foundation of our social construct. I haven't ever been a staunch believer of social conformity however as a man wanting to enjoy rain I've never been hesitant of a few splashes of mud. No matter how much you want to pave your own way and have your own set of beliefs, social conformance always catches up. I've tolerated people who preach exploitation and manipulation in the name of social conformance and morality only so that everyone rots in the same stagnancy in which they themselves rot. I tolerated some of them only because they were born that way and some because you need to have an alternative before you try to replace an existing system.

In a random social gathering I came face to face the very people who personify the "Indian Crab Mentality", they stated "morality" as their cause much like the RSS that vandalizes couples and various outlets on Valentine's Day. I could see them pointing fingers at other people who had made their choices, at people who chose not to hide behind the self-contradictory virtues of our society, people who had a smile on their face knowing that atleast they are being true to themselves, people who had tears for they knew that these bastards preaching morality are just selfish rats who are grinding their axe because they want their pound of flesh.

They questioned around "is this right ? why should they ? we don't approve so why should they ? we don't think it's right!". I could see it in their eyes, sense it in their words, they used a thousand words however were scared to ask the real question in the simplest of words "why him ? why not us ? why do you still want him, we offer you everything our righteousness, our virtues, our honesty. Then why him ?". They simply didn't have the courage to ask the question which would put them in the "hot seat" so the answer they found was "they are corrupt, amoral, wrong".

These people preached morality, called themselves friends and forgot that they own a closet full of skeletons which hasn't been preached morality yet. I couldn't make up my mind whether they were parasites trying hide their true nature behind the veils of morality or are imbeciles desperately seeking social conformance. For a second I felt pity for their judgemental handicap, incapable of deciding what's right or wrong they turned to social preaching to live their lives. With time my pity had turned into outrage, I felt disgusted at the realization that these were people who were the real corruption. They were the ones who were amoral not because they hid themselve from the world but because they hid their own nature from themselves.

I saw them running with knives to butcher people, people like me, who define morality by actions and not merely by words. They dragged innocent bystanders into the whole blood bath, bystanders who simply knew that the truth is stranger than fiction and supported only as much they could. The morality preachers who sleep with prostitutes and visit strip clubs created the messiest of carngage in the name of "what's right", they speak of morality however they will deny their conscience the realization that they are creatures of lust and greed as well.

Going by the social definition of morality, I am not a moral person.

I am not a selfless person, With great pride I declare that I am a selfish person, My love for someone or something is driven by my passion and this passion is an unstoppable force, no preachers, no social construct and no human can stop it. I don't make sacrifices for others, I make them for myself because only a person who's selfish and strong has the power of choice.
I will support similar people around me only because they have the guts to live in reality rather than walk through their lives on quoting euphisms and moral lectures like brain washed zombies.

"I make my choices by being true to myself and I will not blame others for my mistakes", for me this is morality.

For all the preachers out there...

You go preach morality to the skeletons in your closet, I'd rather be the man who sold the world.

Quantum of Shoelace - IV

"Chocolate, Convent, Coffee"

"Oh well all of them are gifts, to uh well, uhhh to my girlfriends", Mammoth is trying hard to make sure it exactly comes the out way it is not supposed to. Pink Laces parsing logic has got all the topics to choose from, she ventures forth, " Uh gifts ? then what are they doing here ??"

"Hmm, well she, umm they couldn't take it home immediately so they left it in my car."

"They ?"

A loud sigh,"Oh well, the bunny belongs to my first girl friend ever, the muffler to the second one and the showpiece and chocolate belongs to the current one.", Wow what an answer ! Any semblance of chance that Mammoth had with this chick is just being burried alive by mr.smooth operator. Shouldn't be too long now MAMC is pretty close by, this torturous "do it yourself - screw your chances tutorial" session should be over any minute. However I don't blame Mammoth for this,must be in his DNA or something. Let's take a moment and go back a decade.


It's high school, 6th standard Mammoth had just entered his preteens and already Chubby Cheeks Betty had taken a fancy to him. She had already dropped him "THE" line, "Do you mind if I sit with you, my partner is absent today and I don't want to sit alone", back then that was the high school equivalent of a pick up line. The request was made for a single day, however Mammoth had the female for company every single day. Till of course our genius boy screwed himself over when he literally coaxed Chubby Cheeks into tieing him a rakhi on rakhi day, that too in school and infront of the whole class. No, Obviously he didn't have incestuous intentions, the boy simply was too innocent for his own good. Still can't forget the look on Betty's face, at times childhood heartbreaks can be harder than being jilted at the altar!

Okay fast foward five more years,Eleventh standard, Mammoth is coming home from his maths tuitions. He has Convent Cool Madonna for company and is walking her home like a chivalrious knight. She drops "THE" line, "Thats my place over there, do you want to come up, maybe talk or something ?", Okay now there is a bit of a story to this.

Madonna had already described a tear jerker situation during the class about how her grand dad was having a surgery and how the mood was really serious at her place. However she still drops the line CCMadonna wants to check Mammoth's cool quotient and also whether he was listening or not. You can't really blame Madonna here after all the were seventeen, the age when girls start using their brains to get a guy and the guys start using testosterone for everything.


"Yes, sure", Mammoth replies like the insensitive going-gaga-over-new-girl male.


"Ok, but I think it's a bit of a serious mood at my place, maybe sometime later ?", Madonna has him figured out already and out the back door exit!


Once again I think it's DNA and nothing else, fast forward a few more years, and Pink Laces is putting up with the worst show of testorsterone dosage gone wrong.

"So, like if they belong to your ex-girlfriends, will they ever get them ?", Pink Laces wants to have her fun.
"Not really."
"Then why keep them ?"
"Haven't got a chance to throw them away."
"What about the one for your current girl friend ?"
"Well, she'll take it when she gets an opportunity."
"Hope that's before she becomes an ex," Pink laces cracks an obvious insensitive joke, aren't they just made for each other.
"That's possible under one condition only and might just happen pretty soon," Mammoth in action, boy oh boy.
"Really and what is that ?"
"Your college is here, Would you be interested in sharing the possibility over a cup of coffee sometime ?" MAMC is here and Mammoth has timed this one to perfection, the kid has got some talent after all.
"I'm sorry but I'm engaged, thanks for the ride" Pink Laces exits left of stage and disappears through her college gate.

Reverse Gear, First gear, Zero to Sixty in under a minute, Mammoth prepares to audition for "Fast and the Furious 5: The Jilted & The Challaned"

The Climb

The mountains in front had started asking questions, the three peaks seemed impossible at first and stood there as if they knew they controlled my destiny. As my hands struck the first of the rocks and my feet dug into the smallest of crevices, I began my ascent to what seemed the first of my fears to be conquered. After the first few hard breaths, I found my voice, a smile was forcing its way to my lips, i was starting to enjoy it, I could hear myself answering the questions these rocks posed to me. Minutes away from the summit I could feel the peaks smiling back at me, telling me that you are earning it, you are earning it one step at a time. On reaching the summit I was greeted by the prettiest of smiles, there she stood the pretty village girl, pointing to the final climb to the highest peak she uttered in the sweetest tone, "There's more to do, only when the time right, for now you can rest...".

Quantum of Shoelace - III

"License,Permit, Stamp"

Dusty's grin says it all, Mammoth is headed towards his car knowing only pink laces and an old ravaged piece of paper lying somewhere in the car can save him now. "Do you hold a drivers license ?", Mammoth's tone is random as the question itself, the look on her face is random.
"Yes I do, but what's the matter ?"
"There's a piece of paper in this car somewhere and it needs to be found right now! Else you can kiss your college function good bye !!". Mammoth obviously is inspired by Gene Hackman's character from "Crimson Tide" and believes creating more chaos during existing chaos results in the best output. Damn! Pink laces is shedding tears like a man peeing on the road side, damn ! there is a man peeing on the road side as well.

"Stop crying !", genius boy and cry girl are now rummaging through his car, it seems like a real collection of memories, he really means it when he says that the car is like a second home, rather I think its more like his closet of skeletons. Oh there's a bag full of used clothes, new unused tennis racket, car insurance, spare tyre, the bunny he gifted, the glass showpiece he gifted, the muffler he gifted, cards from birthdays, stale bouquet from valentines day, bag of liquefied chocolates, office documents used for origami, bihari style shades, american style shades, terrible shades, broken head lights from his first accident, front guard from his second accident, insurance claim receipt from his third one, cancellation letter from the insurance company, credit card bill, broadband bill, phone bill, handwritten letters to girlfriend, tissue paper with funny initials, dried up box of wet wipes, empty car perfume bottle,empty room freshner can, incense sticks and oh crumpled paper could be the thing he's looking for, his smile surely says so !

"God what junk!", Pink laces obviously is aghast at such cleanliness, pity she doesn't value the rawness of neanderthal mans free style of living. "Ok now i'll tell chalaan master over there that i'm a learner and you are the licensed driver who's supposed to accompany me, now walk with me", genius boy has really dusted his brain to come up with this, hasn't he ! Looks like pink laces is going to play along, both standing next to Dusty Shoes now.

"Sir actually I've a learners permit", here goes mammoth's grand gamble.
"A licensewala driver is supposed to sit on side with you", dusty is using the best of his worst english or the worst of his best english.
"Yes sir, I have a driving license", Pink laces is right on cue as she hands over her license.
Dusty looks a bit disgusted at the slowly vanishing bottle of Royal Challenge, in frustation he comes down to haryanvi hindi,"Can't see a thing on your learners permit, looks a like blank ballot paper to me". "No sir, there you can see the stamp on it and there is my name", some deft handling from genius boy.
"What!? the girl is only 20, she has got a license and you... you look like you have a kid but you are roaming around with a learner permit, bloody you think i'm a fool ?" Dusty shoe and Genius boy are now head to head in manipulating the situation to win. The challan will only be a 100 bucks if Mammoth wins but if Dusty wins mammoth will be fined a bottle of whisky.
"No sir it's all valid, stamped permit, stamped license, do you mean to say that stamps papers don't hold for anything". Dusty is up against it, the Indian DNA of believeing anything stamped is "Sarkari" now over-riding all logic. "Ok,Ok, hundred rupees challan for jumping light", Dusty has given in as he writes down the challan in hebrew and latin symbols he describes as english.

Mammoth borrows a 100 rupee not from pinky, it all happens in one swift motionb, A kid watching from the sides darts between Dusty and Mammoth, snatching the 100 rupee note.
The scene is straight out of a recent movie about how dogs become millionaires in slums. Mammoth has the challan, license and permit in his hand, Dusty only has blue ink from the abused ball pen and runs after the young income tax officer cum vijay dina naath chauhan in the making.

Pinky & Mammoth dart back to the car, keys in the ignition, pinky flashes an asha parekh like smile, mammoth brinks the dead engine back to life, next stop MAMC. "So what are all the bunnies, mufflers, showpieces and molten chocolate about ?", Pinky questions and mammoth switches to forth gear, time for a trip down memory lane!

Evil Empowered

A twitch, a pulse,
like fire on ice,
a surge suffice,
power through veins,
a flood during rains,
flowing free tears of god
as evil reigns.

Villains coming alive,
drinking drops of darkness,
tasting fear with a crooked smile,
the feared now frown,
drops of sweat on their forehead,
like jewels in a crown.

Darkness to come,
storm brews with clouds alive,
the sky a purple blue,
as the wind turns to a shrill,
like an untamed shrew.

Shining eyes of a tiger,
a screaming banshee,
the saint basked in glory,
arose as the messiah of doom.

Born atop a bed of roses,
around mountains of despair,
with everyone gasping for air,
followed he shall be for he’s
not god, neither human,
nor evil, always unfair.

Quantum of Shoelace - II

"Classic Ride, Dusty Shoes"

Pink laces is mammoth's child hood obsession here, school tuitions, holi milan, diwali mela, new year parties, hardly has an occasion gone by when mammoth hasn't eyed her and flirted with her.

Our tongue tied jurassic hero replies with a simple hello and invites her inside, "Oh, Actually I was wondering if you could give me a lift instead ?", she replies. Now mammoth here has situational disruption of motor nerves, specially around pretty girls who have a sweet voice. Pink laces observes the forrest gump like reaction and rambles on non-stop, "Actually my friend was supposed to pick me up for an event at my college this evening, however he couldn't make it because his car broke down in between so I was wondering if you could do me this favor, it's really a huge event and seems like an emergency, so... can you take me there right now !?

"Actually my friend, pick me up, do me, it's really huge, take me right now !", These are the only words the testosterone pumped genius heard, the way his feet are sweating something tells me the fella is in hormonal overdrive. He darts inside, the tracks are off in 3 seconds, jeans on in 5, the essential black tee to hide those tyres is on in 2, brushes his hair twice, socks & sneakers(my free ride) on in 10. He's ready in 20 Seconds, it's a new world record for lazy bone.

"Let's go !", Pink laces and mammoth head for his forsaken Maruti 800, the car is an antique piece however mammoth here wants to win formula one in this and handle her with baby gloves. She gingerly slides into the front seat, scared it might just fall apart if she brushes the sides. Minutes of unnerving silence pass between them as the car does an impersonation of a heavy metal rock band while starting up, "it's a classic" genius boy explains to the damned damsel in distress who will need to de-stress pretty soon. Fifteen minutes later they are on the main road, Now pinky(let's just call her that) studies at Maulana Azad Medical College, somewhere genius boy last went to when he had to attend a rock fest. The way he's clutching and braking, it's really making me dizzy, the moron should ask her for directions instead of switching lanes at every traffic light, or is that because sleaze ball is eyeing her even now, that too while driving !

"So do I take a left from here ?", Mammoth breaks the silence but with a poor choice of words. "Oh, sorry I thought you knew the way, it's easy, take a left from the next light, then a free left turn, from the roundabout we got straight, take the left from the flyover, then right from the roundabout and we will be there". It's interesting how the female of this species can actually talk non-stop without even breathing, if it was a under-water breathing contest right now, pinky could beat "free willy" hands down. Talking of contests, Mammoth here is winning the "staring at her" contest and in celebration jumps the red light.

Judging from how he's braking and how pinky's sneakers are coming together in a hug, I would say the traffic policeman has waltzed right in front of the car. "Stay in the car", machismo reeks from his words as pinky nods silently. "License ! ?" grumbles Dusty Shoes, his paunch marking the territory around him for maybe half a meter. Mammoth's hands slips into this back pockets, and after five minutes of measuring there depth comes out empty. Obviously he's forgotten his wallet and his license with it. Paunch with a head measures up the situation in true TP like fashion then shoots, "RC ?", Dusty shoes smiles as he smells a bottle of Royal Challenge Whisky from Mammoths sweat trickling down his brows. Damn Mammoth and his stupid motor nerves!

Beyond Closed Eyes

A drop of inspiration beyond closed eyes,
lost beyond the thoughts of my mind.
It’s the world we live with, I ask to inspire.
A few words from it, is that too much we ask ?

Pain from a soul touches me today,
Far away from me,
She wanders the desert free,
An oasis of tears and her darkest fears,
Reading through her thoughts,
Her beautiful wand of words,
Touches my mind.

A language common to the souls,
I understand from one and I see it in all,
She hides her own and tells me to be gone,
To wander, to search, to love, to lust,
till the day I find another to fill my thirst..

She wishes only darkness from the sun,
Of the sky and ocean to be one,
Put an end to a dream dreamt,
Before the night had begun.

Is it not fair that she breath the air we do,
Is it not fair that she be amongst the stars,
With us here,
Not without us in a desert far.

The world without you is not to end,
A wound so deep, without you it will not mend.
The scent of you, untouched, unaware, it flies,
Like a drop of inspiration beyond closed eyes.

Quantum of Shoelace

“Mammoth, Bastard, Toe Ring, Pink Laces.”

Mammoth has been dragging his feet all day, God how much of self pity does this guy want to wallow in, ever since he got into an argument with that girl with a toe ring he’s been sulking and sulking. Get off that chair you lard bucket and hit the gym, then maybe she’ll think you are the man of her life or better you might just find a new one.

Hi there, for those who are wondering, I’m Mammoth’s shoelace, just thought I would give an interesting perspective of mammoth’s life since I see things right from the bottom up(pun intended). I’ve been a part of life since childhood, still remember the first time he tripped by me on stage and how that started his whole self esteem problem.

Enough about that though, let’s come back to today. The dude grumbles and mumbles to himself that how he’s a man some girls would be lucky to have, yes of course however the point is they want to be luckier and not just lucky, right? He moves onto tinker with his computer while listening to “born to be wild”, shakes his head as if he’s the wildest thing in town, had half a mind to strangle him but then again “26 year old accidentally strangles himself with a shoe lace” would be too much to digest for everyone. Anyhow the self proclaimed IT geek bangs away at the keyboard for 15 minutes so intensely you would think he was making the next supercomputer.

Mammoth’s done now after 15 minutes of doing nothing on the black box, genius boy obviously couldn’t focus because of all the self pity. He’s calling up his child hood friend the Bong Bastard(BB) now, poor fella doesn’t have any idea about the kind of rambling he’s in for, the mammoth starts with recession and how he wants to leave this city and get a new life, should try leaving his own house first maybe. After wandering a bit genius boy gets down to bitching toe ring out, BB offers useless advice the kind divorce lawyers offer before stating their fees, then suggests getting a new girl. However it hardly helps, lard bucket over here is a single tyre organism, basically you take out the human DNA and you’ve got a ball of fat that keeps on whining and rolling till it runs you over.

BB hangs up after a bit, due to desperation and a much needed loo break, you would think after bitching her out so much, mammoth would take a break. Hell, he calls up toe ring immediately and starts with immediately bitching about BB, boy can he bitch or what, after an hour last month’s phone bill flashes across his eyes. Genius calculates he could have paid the maid for months using the money spent on phone bills, hmm so the maid’s cheaper than four months of love talk but no sex, Shiney did have a point. Toe Ring girl is just happy that the focus is off her and now onto BB’s shortcomings.

Mammoth is now yawning, she must be yapping about her new boss, god what’s wrong with this female so she has got a new boss, doesn’t matter! Woman just kiss butt, if he’s cute sleep with him and then tell tales to get him fired for harassment, if he’s a she then get her to sleep with someone else, get her fired, get a new boss, now repeat cycle till you get a boss you could rollover with a pencil. Finally Mammoth hangs up as the door bell rings, oh it’s that cute neighbor from downstairs, Long legs, nice sneakers from nike, those pink laces, shivers up my thread baby, hubba hubba !

Manali Day II - E L E V A T I O N

The swiss girls had left once we had fallen asleep for our early morning deadline, they were cute specially the tall one, we definitely missed them. I got up and Verma was sure he had a heard a leopard or two just when he woke up, however Rohtang awaited, I had been there before as a child only to remember everything in bits and pieces. It was 7 and we were as ready as we could ever be cigarettes, tripod, backpacks,cameras & binoculars all set !

The driver picked us up from the old manali bridge and we were off on a whirlwind trip through the mountains, starting from old manali, the view throughout was breathtaking, after you cross old manali there are a number of small villages with apple orchards and a clean riverside, I am sure each one in the group was at that point tempted to stop and enjoy that pristine river side, however rohtang was the agenda. The driver was taking a different route from the general one to beat the traffic and the drive through the small,quaint villages was something which reminded of the Italian country side shown in the movie 'Godfather'.

We crossed the villages amongst the hills and entered the steeper mountain roads, the road quality had started deteriorating and greenery around intensifying. Punter was multitasking non-stop between his phone and camera, definitely not one of his more peaceful talks I would say. Our usual banter was on non-stop as well when the driver came to halt in front of a store on a desolate curve. I contemplated whether we will be robbed naked or the driver will stop at money and valuables, the driver told us to get fur coats and gum boots for the snow at rohtang adding that the weather is turning bad at the top. The store owner (his brother most probably) also suggested the same, "Customer ko galat thodi na batayenge", the cheesy driver added in the most professional tone possible. Paying no heed to the warning of the two great all knowing weather experts we decided against getting anything here and moved on.

After an hour of swinging through the mountain roads we came to a valley full of make shift stores renting out fur coats, gum boots etc. and a couple of places to eat. We went through our breakfast of omelette and parantha cracking jokes about the restaurant owner,he was a funny fellow who took orders in a military fashion and charged like a three star hotel with a swagger of a five star owner.

I rented gum boots to go along with my own alpine jacket, Avnish and Verma got furr coats to go with their gum boots, Punter skipped it all since he was busy taking photos and talking on the phone while taking a breath or two of air in between. Tummys full and shoulders fashionably decked with genuine fur we moved on to the final stretch going through lengths of roads with frozen ice similar to a popular 'Jab We Met' song.

After another 45 minutes, Our sumo came to a halt face to face with a traffic conundrum. A guy who seemed to know the driver walked up to his side, a pahadi exchange followed with the guy flashing two fingers at our Mr.professional in the end. Apparently a couple of cars had plunged from these heights and so all the vehicles had been stopped.

We hopped out of the sumo and were bombarded with a barrage of people screaming "danda le lo","tattu karlo","chai". Rohtang Pass a.k.a Zero Point was 7.5 kilometers by road, the other choice we had was verticle trek through a mixture of mud, snow and irritating tourists(the average indian middle class family). Punter traded in his costly shoes for gum boots before starting and we purchased a few walking sticks to make the trek easier.

We took our first few steps to stop after a couple of minutes, covering hardly any distance, snow(as we had discovered) provides resistance far higher compared to its normal temperature counter part while walking on slopes. This was going to be a tough one, as we climbed further the slope became steeper, the snow deeper, my fear of heights caught up with me , one look back and I gripped my walking stick tighter and dug it deeper into the snow. The weather was rainy and cold with dark clouds, yet I was sweating due to the whole effort and of course the height we were at(real scared). We stopped in between to enjoy aloo bhujiya with nimbu (courtesy Avnish) while watching many a tourists enjoy the dirty snow and then head back thinking this is all that is there to Rohtang, mountain side full of snow & tattu's you know what.

We trekked further, stopping for tea breaks in between and then moving on again till we reached a sort of snow entertainment park, with people telling us to buy 'shillajeet' & 'kesar'. It was a sea full of tourist with skiing, sledging, dhaba's, yak rides, photographers and more tourists straight from the heart of lajpat nagar market. We were disgusted at being in rohtang's version of crossriver mall, rohini thus we asked a few people about zero point and were directed towards a temple about 5 minutes of distance but 30 minutes on snow. I relied on the walking stick heavily to keep going but now realize that it slowed me down even more as the stick was 1//4 th my size and I had to keep bending to stick it in the snow and that was why I felt so exhausted(obviously my weight had nothing to do about it).

Others walked to the temple as I ambled behind them, wondering if it's possible to have a heart attack while walking through snow, but of course I had this particular tattu waala to keep my spirits high, he shared his expert opinion with me in good faith "tattu karlo sir, high altitude pe saans ki problem hoti hai, aur aapko to zaroor hogi", I assume he pointed me out because of my height, after all my nose was 6 feet 1 inch above rohtang pass, I was definitely getting less air as compared to my companions and the tattus(obviously my weight had nothing to do about it).

We reached the snow covered temple in 15 minutes thumping the snow and walking amidst the clouds refreshing us with the cool water mist carried along. The temple seemed to have a snow covered idol inside a stone igloo, I noticed a board emphasizing "Aagey jaana mana hai". I felt a bit happy thinking this means no more walking, everybody happily ignored the board and started suggesting walking to zero point. I planted my butt down and suggested people to go ahead without me, everyone said yes however kept standing. I realized that sometimes being the weakest in the gang makes you feel helpless however that is the one and only opportunity to overcome that weakness. After a few breaths my juices kicked in, I asked a sledge owner about zero point he said "bahut door hai, ek ghanta door hai". Not willing to buckle down I asked a chai waala, "5 minute door hai" pat came the reply.

We were off again, Verma and Avnish up ahead, me and punter behind, after 1 minute of walking punter and me were resting again, Verma's stamina training had paid off and Avnish gave him good company initially. However Verma surged ahead later with Avnish slowing down he realized that he knew he had to reach zero point ASAP before the gang gives up. He reached zero point in a minutes walk more and signaled to us, whatever it was Verma's enthusiasm or the very rush of being at zero point, we got going. Avnish, Me & Punter eventually reached Zero Point half-breathed but full on the rush.

Zero point had almost nil tourists, only a group or two helped by the Govt. of india tag on their vehicles. This was the real Rohtang, mountains covered with blankets of clean white snow, a hill to the left, a hill to the right, a frozen lake amidst snow covered mountains. It was hard to imagine that such a place exists, beautiful and white, quite and serene. The sun shining through clouds at times, the air was cool but fresh, people few. As a I saw a couple walk up a snow covered hill, I realized that I missed her, "now" would have been beautiful with her, the forlorn beauty amidst this gloriously white snow.

In the background was snow covered peaks which filled my heart with a strange awe, there was a mystery in those peaks, that frozen lake asked a few questions. Frequently we hear phrases "heart of nature", here it was, I was face to face with the very heart of nature here. My hearted wanted to be amongst those peaks, I knew why I was in awe, the mountains stood like gods, touching those clouds in the clean blue sky majestically, they symbolized eternity, immortality, thousands of years have passed and these gods have withstood all time,seasons,everything.

It was slightly scary to be in company of such awesome power almost monstrous and yet so peaceful. After a couple of hours, we sledged back to the tapri at cross river mall, Rohtang. Feasting on pakodas, maggi, omelettes and sipping on tea at the tapri seemed heavenly after "andha trekking". We headed back down now, this time on tattus as the heavy trek through snow had tired us down a bit. As the tattus tip toed down the 7.5 km road, the weather cleared up, the sun shined and realization dawned upon all of us, the whole thing was like a well managed mafia. Taxi's intentionally dropped the tourists so far down so that the tattu people along with stick and sledge pushers can benefit from the whole thing, people who drive up personally are generally forcefully stopped and given reasons like bad road etc. whereas the road and weather seemed fine. Probably the profits are shared at the top most level between the taxi owners and tattu owners. Tourists exploited in the most organized way, aah the splendors of india, the magical feeling of being amongst mountains followed by the realization of being duped.

Our taxi picked us up from the same point and we were back in Manali by evening, the trip had left us hungry, Punter and me started our search for lamb stew and rumali roti. What followed was the most funniest experience, none of the eating joints opened up before seven in the evening. After searching a bit more we decidedly dined at a place called "Mom's Kitchen". The reverse racism became ever so obvious when we ordered for lamb and the owner told us,"Foreigners don't like lamb because it stink thus we don't keep it in stock, everywhere you will get chicken but not lamb, foreigners don't like to eat it". This was india at its best for me, food stocked for europeans but not for indians. Our dinner was followed by a walk back to the hotel and then a marathon discussion about racism,cross cultural differences, our own overseas experiences along with beer and cigarettes. It was a grown up version of our discussions at IIC, a real kickback to our college days, only better.

Manali Day I

The hotel was situated right in the middle of old manali atop a small hill which required a small 5 minutes climb, which rather seemed like Everest at that point of time after the 14 hour volvo ride. Surrounded by the old manali market below, the place at the top was quite quaint, peaceful and relaxing to the soul and the market below seemed like the place to roam.. The rooms simply had a bed and a loo, 400 bucks sasta tikaao, awesome view of the mountains and a bit of green around to add that li’l bit of nature real value for money. Perfect place to laze around and dope whole day as was obvious, we took to the place easy but left the doping up to the firangis as we already had our gudang garam plus chai to get high.

We unpacked and loitered a bit, while having our kaam chalaoo chowmein & omlette breakfast we asked Raju about ladakh, keylong and rohtang. After hearing the distance and time ratio for ladakh & keylong we decided to stick to rohtang as the main course along with river side beer guzzling as the side dish for our trip. To our surprise Raju turned out to be the owner of the place along with the regular dope supplier for the Firangis buzzing around at the place. A number of maalishwala’s eyed us trying to sell their handy work, Along with the sadhus with chillum and jataas we had our rehearsal of hare rama hare krishna all set.

We set out ready with beer cans and cameras packed, after exploring old manali a bit we reached the river side, the ice cool water was enough to chill our beers and bones to ice.
Sitting on that river side, drinking beer, feeling the cool splashes along with the few drops of slow rain relaxed us after the night long journey. Puneet decided to try a few antics and Avnish did a few river side dances while Verma and me quietly contemplated at what lies beneath these sheets of water clear like slides of glass and cold as ice. The fresh air had got us hungry and we headed for mall road trekking through the nature park

The nature park was a peaceful experience, a quite walk through a forest with only wild dogs and birds, the place was something out of a love song shot in a jungle for some hindi movie. The walk was filled with funny photos and scary stories about man eating trees along with punters explanation on how he wants to use his gifted knife to pull of a Man vs Wild(ala Bear Grylls) and how he hasn’t even cut a lemon with it till now.
Upon reaching Mall road we chose chinese as our poison and chopsticks as our weapon of choice at CHOPSTICKS. Post our hogging we booked ourselves a taxi to rohtang and roamed the market for some intense minutes.

One thing was consistent over all the places be it old manali or new, racism. The place was full of Israelis, Swiss, Europeans & Americans i.e Foreigners and were treated mostly like a sardar would be treated in Punjab. These guys form the steady income flow for the people of manali and therefore they had become people of manali themselves. Wherever we went the local shopkeepers and restaurant owner showed least interest because we were Indians, the irony of reverse racism left me dwelling as we headed back to Raju’s hotel through the nature park for a hot cup of tea along with cigarette and an early sleep in for next morning 6 o’clock trip to Rohtang.

Enroute to Manali - II

The hand on my shoulders bothered me but what really woke me up was his words, "Driver behosh ho gaya hai.", 1:00 A.M in the morning the bus driver had fainted, now the conductor wanted to know whether any of us could drive. Being the young guns we are Punter and Verma volunteered to drive in turns while me and Avnish figured out the route.

Avnish & Me figured out the route to Manali using Punter's GPS tracking mobile. We stopped at a petrol pump to re-fuel and by that time the driver had come to and resumed driving. As we tried to get back sleep, "Ulti"mate warrior in the seat behind me launched a 4 hour puke attack on us, don't know what the idiot had at night but he kept producing the most gross sounds and foul smells, yuck !(can't write about this about anymore). This made us go nuts, Avnish took out his Coolwater(Davidoff) and sprayed it like an every day room freshner, Me, Punter & Verma hooked on our headphones and started listening to music at an inhumane volume while trying to bury ourselves underneath our jackets.

We stopped at some small dhaba in the morning for tea and sandwiches and thus a welcome break from the warrior's assault, we really stared him down with the dirtiest looks. As the bus started rolling again with an hour and a half to go for Manali we were greeted with huge pot holes in the road, swiveling and bumping through road rapids really got us cracking mad jokes caught on with the driver. The view from the window was breath taking, the river pristine and clear like crystal and the river side looked like something from a movie. We started talking about sitting at a river side while guzzling on chilled beer and cooling off, ah ! how that would be the ultimate bliss. The cool wind welcomed us as our bus rolled into the manali bus station. We got off,with our luggage on our backs we headed for the bus station exit gate when we were interrupted by "Hotel chahiye ?", on further correspondence we were told "Raju bhaiyya ka hotel sabse saaf". Then let's go, we all decided.

To be continued...

Enroute to Manali - I

"Saaley ye to saarey uncle aunty types hai", the shock in my voice mirrored avnish's intense frown at the bus full of uncle,aunty & buntys. We had boarded the bus to manali with a crowd full of people on the way to their summer treats, looking at this lovely collection of delhi reminded me of the movie "300". I could picture these people screaming, luggage in one hand, bunty on the other shoulder, "We are DDDEEELLLHHHIIII, and we are going to MMMAAANNNNAAALLLIIII".

I stared at people settling down, shady fellows going nudge nudge wink wink with the conductor and typical foreigner types wondering why catching a bus seems like an enactment of an indian version of the movie "Ten Commandments", hoards of people everywhere following Moses(the conductor), this was going to be an intense trip for sure. The smell of grilled sandwiches brought me back, Punter wanted to attack the grilled sandwiches & the paranthas Verma had got from home, all four of us had some of it, gulping it down with sips of coke and sprite.

We were now refuelled, as the bus started the shady fellows had taken their seats right next to the exit door, Initially the seats had been occupied by an european couple(I can only guess) however some fellows had complained to the conductor "inko sabse peeche bitha, saamne baithke gand falayenge". I cringed at the racist comment, some stupid moron I figured. The conductor told the two that their seats are at the back and then the shady fellows replaced them happily at the front seat.

Driver, Conductor, Shady Fellows, Firangis, Young Guns(US :D), Uncle, Aunty and most importantly Bunty, finally the bus growled to life. Amongst A.C complains, Shady fellows purchasing tickets worth 900 by paying only 500, Cracking jokes, Punter's belly full laughter and discussions that hot chicks travel in groups only on buses(in our dreams!) with ticket worth 500 bucks as they are cheaper, we reached the borders of the city.

Almost on cue we heard "bhai zara side mein rok lena, bachche ko toilet jaana hai", these seemingly insignificant words started the great 2009 migration of "people who need to go", the infinite number of buntys in the bus had consumed half of india's water supply, thus the great water crisis of 2009 and Avnish's "bhai itna laatey kahan se hai, ye to andha piss kar rahe hain". Once the buntys were happy watering the road side, the bus driver(surprisingly disgusted) told the bunty owners to hold it in till the end of eternity else he'll run them over while they are pissing.

As daylight gave into the darkness of the night, shady fellows uncorked their bottle of whisky, bribing the conductor and driver with packets of cool water they had bought there license to booze. The bihari couple next to us was excitedly staring at the t.v. playing "Aloo Chaat"(Aa mera dimaag chat !). The slapstick brainless comedy gave four of us enough ammunition to crack the most lethal jokes and laugh like maniacs. Our little Cannes festival was interrupted by the stop for dinner at a road side dhaba. It must have been around 11:00, the air was cool, the dhaba decent, loading up on Punter & Avnish's home cooked puri sabzi while sipping on tea, the whole situation made us all easy in our skins, felt like a welcome break from the daily late nights at office. We were off again in 15 minutes, hour down the line bihari couple has a tiff about "seat aagey peeche and aap batameezi(by moving the seat at all) kar rahe hain" with drunk shady fellow, shady fellows make a valid point offers them their own seats, bihari husband just wants to show that he could have been tom cruise if not for his accent.

Tiffs over, Aloo Chat over, The bus starts swivelling through the mountain roads, I decide to talk to her once before I die in a mountain accident. Verma and Avnish are asleep, Punter and Me stare at the windows checking out the dark silhouettes of mountains passing by, the curves, dives and climbs and the mysterious darkness puts us to sleep only to wake up at around 1:00 a.m....

To be continued...